Marvel Mishaps

This blog is going against every admiration that I feel to comic books.
(Yes, I'm a super hero geek and proud to proclaim such a fact... just don't get me started on Batman...)
Spiderman, Superman, Batman, X men, (Wolverine is my favourite), the list is endless. We all know them to be the superheroes of our childhood. They are the second inspiration for making children believe that they too can fly (Peter Pan and Tinkerbell being the first inspiration - making it seem way too realistic for a four year olds liking... and yes I speak from experience...).

But while we can appreciate these superheroes from afar, up close, they seem to have a lot of things that just don't sit right...
For instance, my first point - Superman. As his name mentions, he is quite a man. A man with 'super' qualities I guess...For those of you who don't know, one of Superman's many 'super' traits is that nothing can penetrate through his skin.... including bullets.

So, okay, I've been able to accept this and nod my head in approval. Seems pretty cool. Every superhero has to have his own ability and this is one of many of Supermans.
But no my friends, it is not Superman's super qualities that inspire such blogs...

It's Superman's costume.

Not only does it give children the false impression that if they wear a red cape, they can instantly fly, but the comics have a major flaw.
True to the fact that bullets cannot hurt this 'Superman', but how come they don't go through his costume at least? Since when was spandex considered indestructible!

Also, I really cannot comprehend the fact that no one realizes that Superman is Clark Kent - being as it may that the only difference between the two seems to be a pair of thick rimmed glasses and gelled hair...

E GAD! THEY LOOK LIKE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!

It's the incredible power of the rimmed glasses that does it... *nods* oh, and don't deny that parting ones hair a certain way can make you look like a completely new person...

And such questions not only arise when I think about Superman - lets flick our marvel comics to our neighbourhood friend, Spiderman

I'm a big big fan of the spidery super hero. He made blue and red look good together, what can I say... He is probably my favourite super hero despite his constant stream of angst in the movies...

Yet there are a few things that got me thinking about him...

Okay, this is going to sound weird but i don't, and have never understood why on earth those webs are coming out of his fingers

Sure, i understand that if the average joe is to be bitten by a radioactive spider in his life, there is bound to be repercussions and pretty nasty spidery side effects. But technically, if he is a 'spider man' those webs should be coming out of a different part of his body... if you catch my drift...

And the whole radiation thing gets to me too. Why is it, that in real life, when a person is exposed to radiation, horrible, deadly diseases may occur as a result, but in comic books, if we are bitten by radioactive spiders or fall into radioactive vats of oil or something, they are instantly indestructible?

Anyway, I have to go now - the metropolis needs me. 
xx

Rock, Scissors, Earwig

Scissors, Paper, Rock.
It was the entertaining game in our youth that is still used to this day to settle who will eat the final slice of pizza or who will be the first to kick off a soccer game. 

'Rock off' they call it.

Throughout many games, I have held my tongue and have kept to myself, why I hate this seemingly innocent game...
...Until now. 

Scissors beats paper, yes. Thats an obvious one. Scissors can destroy paper – literally cut it in half so to speak. Yes, very good. I’m with you so far.

Rock beats scissors, again, i don't have any problem with that. Like Bart Simpson once stated 'good ol' rock, nothin' beats that...’

My query is this my dear friends:
Why. Why on EARTH does paper - flimsy, fragile, delicate, dainty, weak paper - beat hard, strong, sturdy, unyieldingly solid rock???
WHERE IS THE LOGIC IN THIS!?!?!

So like all of my blogs, I did my research. I didn't want to totally bag paper without the proper information first. That wouldn't be fair right? Especially to all those trees...
So the first place I look, is none other than Wikipedia...

A lot of people bag wikipedia and rightfully so - about anyone can update information on there and whatnot and blah blah blah. But despite its flaws, Wikipedia will always hold a special place in my heart. And hey, no ones perfect, right? And yes, internet sites are categorized in the 'imperfect spectrum'... Common, you guys have all gone on Wikipedia when wanting major help for an assignment! Don't deny it!!!!
Anyway, I look it up... not only did I find out that they have official scissors paper rock games overseas, but I have also found out why! Why on earth paper has the power to beat rock!
That's right, I have searched the darkest realms of wikipedia and the general google sphere to discover the source of power that paper has over rock! I have located the mystery, nay, the awe inspiring power that is consisted within this element! A power so great, that the ring from Lord of the Rings would be shivering in fear!!! I, Victoria, have unearthed the secret, awesome power of paper! The mystery behind its victory!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen!!!!
BEHOLD THE FOLLOWING QUOTE FROM WIKIPEDIA IN ALL ITS GLORY!!!!!!

"Paper covers or captures rock, making paper win"
... O.o
Are you serious?
...*looks sideways*
...T-thats it?
So ... So hold on a moment... You’re saying, if you cover a rock with a piece of paper, it will automatically defeat rock??
...No

...NO, I’m sorry, I WILL NOT HAVE IT!

Scissors paper rock is a game where one thing must defeat and utterly annihilate and pwn the other. Clearly if you cover a rock with paper, the rock can penetrate through it!!! I agree with Bart Simpson on this one - nothing can beat rock!
Unless one decides to rename it to 'Scissors, chainsaw, rock' or something...
...But I think that would just be too messy...
We had a variation to the game in primary school to when, if someone would be destroyed by paper when putting down rock, we'd quickly turn the rock into a bomb and say 'EXPLOSION!' to which defeats all... I propose we bring back this format of the game and put so called 'paper' in the time-out corner until it has learnt its lesson...

Actually while I was doing my research, I found out some pretty cool variations to the game which frankly, in my opinion, make ‘scissors paper rock’ seem like childs play! PURE CHILDS PLAY I SAY!!!!

For instance, in Indonesia, we come across a variation consisting of ‘earwig, human, elephant’ in which the earwig climbs into the elephants ear and makes it go crazy, the human crushes the earwig and the elephant crushes the human... Hmmm... Fair cool, fair cool...
‘That 70s Show’ also had a good take on the game - ‘cockroach, nuclear bomb, foot’ - the cockroach survives the nuclear bomb, the nuclear bomb destroys the foot and the foot destroys the cockroach...(Random note: twas an idle day a few days ago, I was lounging around and watching ‘Whose Line is it Anyway’ I believe... And I noticed quite a large black thing at the corner of my eye... T’was a cockroach... Now for some reason, I just don’t like cockroaches... They don't sit with me right. Now I have a cat who loves to eat these little guys and he was staring and repetitively meowing at this bug for fairly long and I was going to do us both a favour and lift him to the cockroach for desert, but I went closer to Mr Roach only to realize that it had only one antenna... The other had been cut off... I thought of how all the other roaches must have mocked him from afar, told him snide jokes about his one-tenna and he simply MUST have sought to my house as a last means of sanctuary... Well, the one-tenna cockroach, I began to feel sorry for the little guy and left him walking happily on my roof... I named him Barry...
...I haven’t seen Barry since then... And my cat hasn’t really been touching his food lately so I’m wondering....
BUT ANYWAY!!)


So, I ask you gents and gentle ladies out there in cyberspace, am I going crazy? Or is this game COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY flawed???
I know there is probably something I’ve overlooked, some foreseeable reason to how i am wrong, but for now, I stand by my theory - The only thing that paper can be victorious in is causing some pretty serious paper cuts...

I will leave you all with this little joke I found surfing the epic waves of google. I thought it suited this blog quite nicely:
"When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, 'Oh shit! I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you.'"

And thats the way the cookie crumbles,
Until we meet again,
Vic